"Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures"

Last night Jamie called me when she got off work. She wanted smoke some cigarettes, but sadly I didn't have any because I had smoked them all with Jana. So, I told her that if she wanted, I would go buy a pack and we could smoke. Sho-nuff, Jamie picked me up at 11:30 or so and we were on our way to Quik Stop on Geer where all the Punjabs work. I rolled on in, bought a pack of Camel Turkish Gold's, Jamie purchased a pack of gum and then we peaced out and headed over to the park. We were sitting there smoking, and talking, and listening to some Chevelle. Well, I asked Jamie if she still had some bud, and yes she did, but unfortunately Michel took the pipe. We didn't have a can nor an apple to make a pipe out of. So, as I'm sitting.. pondering.. a light bulb goes off. WE CAN EMPTY A CIGARETTE AND THEN REPACK IT WITH BUD! Hmph.. Jamie believed it was a lot of work but I thought it could be possible. Well, I started rolling the cigarette back and forth, trying to loosen the tobacco. Eventually, I emptied the whole thing, leaving the cigarette paper in tip top condition. I thought it might be hard to pack the cigarette with weed, so we made a funnel so it would filter down into the cigarette. Sho-nuff, it worked, until a lot of weed started bunching in the funnel. Jamie had to take matters into her own hands and repack the weed into the cigarette. Eventually, we were done. Marijuana Cigarette. That's exactly what we had. We lit the bitch up, started smoking, but it was a bit harder than we imagined. Since it wasn't packed tight, the paper burned faster than the bud. But, because we're pimps, we compromised and made it work. So, moments after we finished our marijuana cigarette Jamie asked me, "do you think it worked?" I replied, "yeah." She said, "yeah, I can feel it, I'm starting to twitch." Hmph. How about that? I mean, it probably took about 30 minutes to empty and repack that cigarette for only about 2 minutes of pleasure. But, then we had a cigarette afterwards, and it just upped our highness, and it was smooth sailing from there on out. Desperate times call for desperate measures, biotch.

last night was my first sober night for about 3 weeks or so. hmph.

i'm getting a little stressed because 1. my sister should be coming down tonight or tomorrow 2. i have to pack for college 3. i have to pack my room for when we move. i've only got 2 days until i leave, and i'm hoping.. hoping.. that everything will fit in my car. i know that all my shit will, that's a given, but i'm taking jana up with me and so we have to fit her shit in as well. we'll see how this all works out, if anything it'll be funny, cause that's what life is: funny.

nicole, what are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back? ;) roomie love, that's what that is.

one night, me, alisa and laura all got stoned. alisa and laura had an ass-load of top ramen and an overabundancy of arizona iced tea. i ate 4 top ramens and drank 2 iced teas.

i fuckin forgot the best part of the story.

so, i was driving home last night from jana's house around 12:45ish in the fuckin am, and i was driving cautiously cause it was foggy, and i had also had a few cocktails. so, jana wanted me to look for the roadkill because she's a sick-fuck sometimes, so i did. i turned on my brights as i was driving over the overpass (where i hit the mother fucker) and i looked as hard as i could while maintaining my safety. so, i'm looking and looking. it was gone! i was about to shit a brick. so i sped back up, turned off my brights, you know.. the normal shit, all of the sudden, i see the piece of shit in the middle of the road, and what happens? I RAN BACK OVER THE FUCKERS HEAD!!!

hahahaha, good times.

last night i was driving to jana's house. i was traveling down golf link road at about 8 o'clockish, driving approximately 60 mph. i was on the phone with keri, talking about monterey, the day before, and how i had almost hit a deer. then, that story made me think of another story about my friend ashley and how she actually did hit a deer.. and then ran over it. i was finishing the story and right before i did, i screamed at the top of my lungs!! a possum ran out in the middle of the road and i thought, maybe it'd keep running, so i didn't really swerve, but i moved to the left a little bit, hoping that it'd pass right underneath my car, without getting hit. boy was i wrong. the possum froze like a deer in headlights, it's beady little eyes were staring right at me. I RAN RIGHT OVER THE FUCKERS HEAD!!! i heard it underneath each wheel. at first, i wanted to pull over and cry. but instead, i laughed hysterically, then i felt bad again. i still feel sorta bad, it was a living creature.. that's also infested with rabies. so maybe i'm over it..

I saw a tupperware commercial the other day. It had the containers and lids on some sort of spinning turn table that is placed in your cuppard. So, you open your cuppard, pull out the spinning turn table (which has your tupperware stacked on it), then select which piece you want and simply grab the lid for it. It's a pretty interesting device, the way it spins and all. Obviously, these tupperware people want to sell their product, so they're going to show many different ways to use the tupperware and how simple and easy it is to use. At one point in the commercial, they showed the same lady (that was giving all the other uses for the tupperware and how to use them) blindfolded. On the commercial they said something like, "It's so easy, you can even do it blindfolded!"


OKAY! Let's think about this. Why in the HELL would you be blindfolded trying to find tupperware? Normally, after you're done cooking a meal you'd find tupperware to put the left over food in, right? Who would be cooking with a fuckin blindfold on?! Why would you be wearing a blindfold in the fuckin kitchen? There are like.. knives and other sharp things in the kitchen. WHO WEARS A FUCKIN BLINDFOLD?!


Frustration has set in.

i'd have to say..

today was a good day :)

"why are you telling this to leslie.. and me?"

for some reason, my sister cori and i were visiting my auntie joyce (who somewhat resembles the devil to me), uncle gordon and two cousins alex and adam in oakland for a few days. one day, my aunt wanted to take us to the zoo, so adam, cori and i hopped in the car and before you knew it, we were off to the zoo (in oakland, of course). as we all know, i'm a very curious child who likes to touch things and push buttons just to see what happens. the three of us were in the backseat, i was sitting on the left side behind my witchy aunt, then it was adam dressed in his judo outfit (what a fag), then my sister on the right. we were sitting at a red light for some time, so i started looking around for things that i could play with. well, i thought the doors were locked so i thought to myself, "if these doors are locked, then when i try to open it.. it won't." i built up so much courage inside of me, kept looking around at my aunt, my sister and then my cousin and finally i pulled on the latch. the door popped open as the light turned green, my aunt freaked out and cars behind her started honking because she was holding up traffic, she immediately ordered adam to unbuckle his seatbelt and shut the door (which i could've done myself, but since no one trusted me i guess that wasn't an option). my wicked aunt of the west lectured me on why we shouldn't do things like that, blah blah, and naturally it all went in one ear and out the other. boy was she pissed, but i was so over it. eventually we arrived at the zoo and i was so excited that i started running to the entrance. apparantly i wasn't supposed to do that either because once again, it was "wrong." moving right along.. we were walking around the zoo, admiring all the animals (like normal zoo-goers) and suddenly i had to use the bathroom, maybe it was all the icee's, or perhaps it was the fact that i drank four bottles of water. so anyway, my aunt left cori and adam by the polar bears (cause they were BIG kids, la-de-frickin-da!) and she escorted me to the bathroom. she didn't have to use the restroom so she told me she'd wait outside for me, since public bathrooms are about as nasty as the stench trench between a hooker's legs . i had to wait in line, but fortunately it wasn't for long. everything came out just fine, if that's what you're wondering. except when i flushed the toilet the rock that i thrown down there moments before got lodged in the pipe, thus creating major build up and massive water pressure. so after i got done washing my hands, i heard a noise in the stall i was just in. all of the sudden, water shot up, hitting the ceiling, soaking innocent bystanders. i fuckin jetted out of that bathroom so fast with a fatty grin on my face, i located my aunt grabbed her hand and insisted on finding cori and adam. she never found out about the bathroom incident, luckily! but we met back up with them and decided that we wanted to go on the gondola (you know, the ski lift like machine that goes over the whole zoo on a wire and you sit with your feet dangling and whatnot..). since my cousins and my sister would always pick on me, never wanted to do anything with me, would make fun of me non-stop, i'm sure you could guess who i had to ride with -- my aunt, since they were only two seaters. naturally when you're high up in the air, your first instinct is to spit, or throw something and watch it splatter.. well, that was my first instinct at least. during the whole ride i had to fuckin behave, since i was sitting next to satan, i mean my aunt. but i was going crazy inside, i had a toy plane that i wanted to launch, but i couldn't. i wanted to spit water over the edge but i couldn't do that either because it was too obvious. so, instead i slowly slipped off my shoes and let them drop into the gorilla cage. boy, i had never seen my aunt turn so red out of frustration and irritation with me before. she bitched at me for days and days but i couldn't help but laugh. i remember watching my shoes fall, slowly and weightlessly, then all the sudden poof! a big cloud of dust from where they dropped, and the sound of gorillas roaring. after we got off the ride, we had to go get my shoes because my aunt wouldn't let me walk around the park shoeless.. saying there was unsanitary things like glass and garbage heroine needles, etc. as she, my cousin and my sister were trying to find a zoo keeper to ask for help, i very sneakily snuck off to see the giraffes. being the little mischievous hell raiser that i was, i decided that i wanted to get a closer look at the giraffes so i snuck into the pin and started petting one of the babies. i think i named it jeffery. clever, i know. so, i'm petting this giraffe, and i swear to god, we were fuckin bonding. it wanted me to keep petting it, and there was no way in hell that i wanted to stop. it felt so good, i almost wanted to rub it on my face but for some reason, i didn't. so, the other giraffes were eating tree leaves, doing the whole giraffe thing and i was luring the baby giraffe jeffery over to a boulder. you might be wondering what the fuck i was trying to do. well, if i could get jeffery to the boulder, i could stand on the rock, and climb onto the back of the giraffe and take it for a ride. well, i got jeffery over to the boulder, conning him with some tree leaves and asian love so i began to climb onto the rock, being careful not to lose my balance and more importantly not to lose the interest of jeffery. believe it or not, i got on the back of a fuckin giraffe and i probably rode it (and i say "it" because i'm not sure if jeffery was a boy giraffe or a girl giraffe)around the pin oh i'd say.. 3 laps. only 3 laps before the jeffery's parents and also the visitors noticed that there was a kid on a giraffes back. i'll tell you, that was fuckin wild, cause honestly who rides the back of a giraffe, and better yet, who sneaks into the pin and lures a giraffe to a rock so you can ride it at the age of 5? i'll tell you -- megan "the captain" renee nicholson, that's who biotches! my reign of terror was over. my auntie joyce, adam and cori found me. i don't remember much after that, just a lot of cussing and yellling, then blindfolding me and handcuffing me and throwing me in the trunk for the ride home. after we got home my aunt gave me some tranquillizers and other sedatives and as far as i know it was smooth sailing from there on out. to this day i can still remember the smile on jeffery's oddly shaped giraffe face. good times.

One day, Whore-a and I were watching Ju-on, the Japanese and also original version of The Grudge. The movie contained subtitles, which was a BIG plus considering I don't speak Japanese! Hmm, go figure. Well, I was getting pretty into the movie, trying to pick up some Japanese as it played. To be honest, I did know a few words here or there, solely because last year as many of you know, my roommate was Japanese, and better yet, she was an exchange student straight from Japan! She'd try and teach me Japanese, but since I have the attention span of a fly, it would be hard for me to retain much of anything she'd attempt to teach me. The point is, I did pick up a few words and I was proud because I had the upper hand to Laura. Boo ya! At one point during the movie, my mom happened to walk by in the kitchen area and as she was walking I yelled at her, "Hey mom, can you understand what they're saying?" She replied with a disappointed and frustrated tone in her voice, "I'm Chinese, Megan." I then said, "Yeah, I know, but maybe.." She cut me off by saying, "NO." And she kept on walking. Sometimes I'm funny.


"I promised I'd see it again, I promised I'd see this with you now."

It's been long overdue. It felt like it used to do. I was all nervous yet anxious at the same time. I was eager to hear what would come out of your mouth next. I couldn't help but watch you watch me. Even in the moments of silence so many things were understood.

"I need you now like I needed you then."

I know a lot of things go unsaid about the way we feel, and I know that sometimes it's hard to find the time to talk let alone hangout, but we both know that through thick and thin, we'll always be there for eachother. Somehow we always seem to know what the other is thinking, you know the words that will come out of my mouth, and I know the look that you'll give me after I say them. You know that after you talk to me, hoping for advice, I won't say anything because you know exactly how I feel, you know that I know that you already know the answer.

"I'm finding that you, and you alone, can break my fall."

Just one more thing.. I love you. More than you'll ever understand, more than you'll ever know.

"A few times I've been around that track, so it's not just gonna happen like that."

My sister isn't going to come up here, so guess what.. my fat ass gets to drive down and see her. The thing that pisses me off the most is that she doesn't really care. So I ask myself why do I care. Maybe cause I love her? Maybe I just want my Christmas presents. I understand the fact that she's really enjoying life, for once she's actually happy with where she is and what she's doing, but is it THAT hard to see your family at least two or three times a year? I haven't seen her since June. It's weird cause when I was little, I wanted to be my sister. Why wouldn't I want to be? She was beautiful. I knew every single fault and yet I was so in love with my sister, but we never really had that "bond." My mom would tell people we were closer than buttcheeks, but I don't think we were. As the years past, we obviously became closer. Mostly because our ages had kept us in different worlds when we were younger. But even today, she's very selfish. And I hate that about her. I hate it..

But maybe it'll be a good visit. Let's see.. I could go visit Mike, who lives about 10 minutes away from my sisters. I could drive down to SD and hang out with Cindy and maybe even head down to TJ. More than likely my sister will keep me liquored up. Maybe if it's sunny I can tan. I guess there's a lot of things that could go right, for one.. it's NOT Turlock. I just don't want to drive. Normally, I wouldn't mind, but the fact that I'm driving the fuckin' Cavelinder, and the fact that I HATE that car really puts a damper on things. I'm just being bitter now, but HONESTLY.. who throws a shoe? Alls that I'm saying is I better get some bomb-ass Christmas presents.


You should give this a click, it's pretty entertaining.
http://www.funpic.hu/swf/numanuma.html

OTISNicKel03 [12:20 P.M.]: how can you say your going to eat truck in front of me
OTISNicKel03 [12:20 P.M.]: thats like hanging some cat nip in front of a cat and saying oh no not for you pussy

look beneath the surface: never let a thing's intrinsic quality or worth escape you.

to refrain from imitation is the best revenge.

yeah, hookers are nasty. so are porn stars but in an okay way. -- jana

security is mostly a superstition. it does no exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

in all the world, there is no one exactly like me. everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because i alone choose it. i own everything about me... my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions whether they be to others or to myself. i own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. by so doing, i can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. i know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects that i do not know, but as long as i am friendly and loving to myself, i can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me. however i look and sound, whatever i say and do, and whatever i think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. if later some parts of how i looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, i can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which i discard. i can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. i have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. i own me, and therefore i can engineer me.

She should have died hereafter

There would have been a time for such a word

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing.

the disease of self runs through my blood, it's a cancer fatal to my soul, every attempt on my behalf has failed, to bring this sickness under control.

these past few days have been crazy insane. and i mean that in the best possible way. just like jerri blank, most of the time we've all got something to say. it's funny because no matter how ridiculous that show is, somehow.. someway.. it relates back to us. sure, strangers is sorta blown out of proportion, but as silly as jerri's problems are so are ours. life is pretty funny if you think about it, wouldn't you agree? can you honestly say that you've never taken steroids and grown a beard? or even dated your own son? maybe you haven't, but maybe you haven't. sometimes i think people forget to laugh or even smile for that matter. do you really take life or even yourself soo seriously that you can't laugh or smile about it? because i say no no to that! don't you ever wonder? i mean, does it really get any better than this?

i've got a story for you.
the other night, nicole, jana and i headed over to alisa's apartment to have some cocktails, enjoy ourselves.. you know, the usual. well, we did just that. alisa busted out with some fuckin wine and some bacardi, we brought over the rest of the skyy, hmm.. good times. anywho, so jana and nicole were taking shots, i was enjoying the chardonay, well before you know it.. nicole was drunk. surprising? no no. two of alisa's friends came over from berkeley, who happened to be straight edge kind of people. well, they ended up making popcorn and breaking the popcorn machine in the process, and nicole was being some what of a joker that night. i retract that statement.. she was the conductor of the train heading to crazy town. alisa and her two guy friends were in the living room watching the ali g show as nicole, jana and i were in the kitchen drinking, laughing and being merry. well well, nicole being the turkey she is, decided to rummage through alisa's cupboards and she stumbled across some brown sugar. no no, not some black dick, but literally some brown sugar. without any hesistation, she decided to pour the brown sugar over the popcorn, without anyone but jana and myself knowing. naturally, we all started laughing because.. WHO DOES THAT?! the best thing about that is nicole never once looked at us, she just went about her business as if we weren't even there. jana and i started cracking up, thus creating nicole to laugh. we tried to stay quiet, but when you're drunk nothing is really that quiet, even if you think so. alisa jolted into the kitchen to see what the ruckus was. by this time, our stomachs were on fire -- not from the alcohol, but from lauging so fuckin hard -- and alisa kept asking what the fuck was going on.. honestly, i think she said "what the fuck?" since we're all sneaky sneaky we just laughed at one another.. and very sly like a mother fuckin fox, nicole headed over to the fridge, and opened and shut the door, to distract alisa from the popcorn. but the funny thing about that is nicole opened and shut the door so fast it made everything in the fridge shake and rattle, causing more and more noise, which lead to more and more laughter.. GOOD TIMES. oh, and also, when we were outside smoking, nicole told us she was horny. later tonight, nicole and i were talking and she happened to visit alisa earlier. they obviously talked about the other night and..

here's the fuckin kicker:
they saw us the WHOLE TIME! you might be asking.. "wait, megan. how is that possible?" i'll explain for you minions. well you see, alisa's apartment is set up so there is one long hallway. at one end are the bedrooms, and at the other you walk past the kitchen and then into the living room. the living room looks out into the street, with two big windows, so unless you do a 180, you can't see into the kitchen. but wait!! the two guys saw us in the kitchen from the relfection of the kitchen in the windows. i'm sorry, but that's funny. nicole.. caught.. red handed. these are the times of good.