[ remember to breathe ]

my insecurities weigh me down like the burden of a child that happened to be the end result to an adulterous adventure. a child who's existence was brought about by deceit, betrayal, treason, and sin. it's no wonder i've found myself in a place of sinners, trying to be saints. the familiar feelings of confusion, doubt, uncertainty, inadequacy, guilt, shame, and misery seemed never to escape my once beating heart. i began learning at a very young age that this world is nothing like it's all wrapped up to be. and that's okay, i've come to terms with it, finally. i've been let down, i've been disappointed, i've been stepped on and walked over. i've been used, i've been taken advantage, i've been taken for granted. i played you, i played the martyr, i've been playing for so long that it's hard for me to take anything serious anymore.