And I've been very patient with people, thinking that one day.. just one day, they're grow up and many things will come to their realization. But the more and more I wait, the clearer things become to me. Some people don't grow up, some people don't open their eyes to the bigger picture. And it makes me mad, well not mad, but frustrated. I guess I just don't get it, maybe I never will. How can some people never grow up? Do they not realize how they act?

So maybe I like doing the things I do, and sometimes I like having those things done to me too. But sometimes when other people try to be me, it's just annoying. They can't spit it like I can, no one can. I can't help the way I am, I can't help the way I feel. And it's true, I do want to feel certain things, I do want that security, but it's hard for me, mainly because I'm embarassed and afraid of how you're going to judge me. And I hate it, I hate it so much..


I can't take this any longer.. but it won't heal until I'm stronger.